Nobody could have ever imagined when the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2020 that we’d be living the current reality of this COVID-19 pandemic. Yet, here we are with the responsibility and civic duty of helping flatten the curve by staying home and practicing social distancing.
Many of us are glued to the news, the internet, and social media. Each day we get new information and hear stories that hit close(r) to home. How close to home has it gotten to you?
For me, it got way too damn close.
On March 11th, I started exhibiting some symptoms that I quickly learned were consistent with the virus: Extreme fatigue, fevers, chills, sore throat, dry cough, and shortness of breath only during the nighttime hours. I called my primary physician who reported my symptoms to the Dept. of Public Health, and before I knew it an order was placed to get a COVID-19 test at my nearest urgent care facility.
I got dressed and drove myself alone to urgent care (my doctor told me I should come alone if I was feeling well enough to drive, and I did). The facility I drove to was the same one where my late husband received an initial lung cancer diagnosis. #widowtrigger I was able to block that out of my mind somehow in order to move toward action (something I’ve gotten quite good at these past 12 years). I’m one of the fortunate who was able to receive a test rather quickly. The entire process took about 45 mins, but then came the waiting. I was ordered to go home immediately, to only return to an emergency room if I couldn’t breathe, and to self-quarantine until I got my results.
It was three and a half days of being confined to my bedroom. Netflix, Tylenol, naps, essential oils, meals dropped off at my bedroom door by my mom & sisters, deep conversations and text messages with my closest girlfriends kept me sane.
I’m not sure if this is a permanent side effect of being widowed, but after you’ve seen the face of death up close there’s not much I am afraid of.
Am I afraid of uncertainty? Yes.
What if I was positive, would I be in pain? Would I take a turn for the worst? Have I put my family’s health in jeopardy? Am I afraid of suffering? Yes.
Am I afraid of dying? No.
Last time I checked, nobody gets out alive anyway.
By midday Monday, 3/16 I received one of the best calls I’ve gotten in a very long time.
“Your COVID-19 test result is negative,” said Dr. U. “HALLELUYAHHH” I screamed in her ear. Immediate Gratitude (with a capital G), a sigh of relief, I was able to finally breathe again (no pun intended).
But now what?
I was advised to still keep to myself to ride out the wave of the viral respiratory infection (AKA common cold). Still scary and uncertain times we are going through.
Source: Unknown – Please contact me if you know the source!
Of the many things I hope we come away with after this is all said & done:
We emerge better versions of ourselves
More empathy, toward ourselves and others
Gratitude for EVERYTHING, especially our healthcare workers, sanitation workers, our grocery clerks, home deliveries (UPS, FedEx, USPS, Amazon, Postmates, Instacart, etc)
A greater sense of community, I’ve never been more connected to my neighbors and close friends than I am right now
Improved wellness & self-care practices: Realizing how fortunate we are to still remain connected to one another even if it’s from a distance through technology
May we all hold on right now with faithful hearts. Nothing is permanent and neither is this moment in history. We will emerge from this moment of darkness and go on to live beautiful and purposeful lives.
With Love & Honey,